We’ve had the same conversation a thousand times now.

We ask for equality and you say we already have it.

I tell you about the oppressive systems and you always respond with the same bullshit.

“Yeah, well they have a choice.”

They have a choice?

They have a choice to rise above the intentionally bankrupt education?

They have a choice to ignore the neglect they endured in their childhood because their father was arbitrarily criminalized for “possession of an evil plant”, so mom had to work 3 jobs to keep ’em fed?

They have a choice to just ignore the subtle slights of every day life, at work, while shopping, or just walking down the street and the see someone cross the road and hold their purse a little tighter “just in case”.

They have a choice….

So I predict you’re an abuser and I don’t have to know a damn thing about you to know it.

As it turns out, we’ve all collectively agreed not to shine a certain light in one particular direction and that’s inward.

The result? We… Are… Blind…

Don’t worry, this includes me to. We are born abusers. Driven to it from the inside out, and reinforced from the outside in.

Every moment we’re ashamed and we are punished.

Every time we’re already frightened and the people we trust to protect start to scream.

Every time our hearts are bruised and they strike.

Every triumph in which a proud moment is sullied by their neglect.

Every time we find ourselves exposed and find our treasures plundered.

We find our power stolen off by those attempting to reclaim some for themselves and thus the cycle is witnessed.

So we seek out the exposed take our treasure back.

When see another’s pride, we turn away.

We turn our open palms to bruised-heart seeking missles.

Any time we witness fear, we start to scream.

Any time we sense their shame, we move to punish.

We are abusers, and now you know it; I know it. Now you’re exposed. You know what comes next.

I show you her picture and you remember nothing but your horror.

Now you’re ashamed. you know what comes next.

I furl my brow and clench my fist, now you’re afraid; you know what comes next.

I scream until it rattles your bones, “How could you!?”

You feel the bruise upon your heart; you know what comes next.

But this time you’re wrong.

I calmly ask why you’re so hurtful, but you don’t know

I ask when you became a predator and you’re baffled.

I ask you if it makes feel strong when you do it.

I ask why you can’t just choose another way, and for the first time since we started you scream something honest:

“BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW!”

The softest smile I can manage through my broken eyes, I tell you “That’s RIGHT!…. And NEITHER DO THEY!”

…………………………..

“Neither does ANYONE ELSE! So stop asking! For gods sake, we are all just doin our fuckin best! So Please! Stop holding the rest of us back for not doing what you can’t do either.”

Just because you were taught to never ask for help, doesn’t mean that anyone who does is less.

Just because you choose to bare the burdens of your life alone does not give you the right to demand that someone else carry a weight you’ve never lifted; further still could never even touch!

You can not hope to dictate treatment for a disease to which you are immune!?

Just because you lived a life where you were never heard does not absolve you of your obligation to listen, but I understand why it’s so hard.